I'm Emerging. I like Philosophy.

Love is What Makes the World Go Around
The Commune 10.1.07

The world we live in is filled with constant struggle. As I so very slowly grow old, I am beginning to notice that nearly all of our strife stems from relationships. They say that art imitates life, and if so, TV most definitely demonstrates the difficulty of relationships.
Take Felicity, for example. Over the past couple of weeks, Hilary and I have been watching it on DVD. The show chronicles the college career of one girl, Felicity. She moves from California to New York following a boy she barely knows named Ben. When she finally gets to school, she develops a relationship with her RA, Noel, while her new friend, Julie, dates Ben, the boy from California. They struggle through their relationships for almost a whole year. At the end of spring semester, after having cheated on Noel once, Felicity is forced to choose between Noel, the boy she’s been dating all year, and Ben, who just broke up with her friend Julie. Choosing Noel would be the easy solution and would do the least damage to the world around her. Unfortunately, Felicity chooses Ben, ruining her relationship with Noel and Julie. Ben and Felicity date for exactly two episodes before they break up.
Or think about The OC. Ryan moves to a wealthy neighborhood from the slums. He immediately begins dating his new next-door neighbor, Marissa. After a series of strange events, Ryan and Marissa still have a somewhat romantic relationship even though they have become distantly related.
The point is: relationships are complicated. When our hearts are on the line, there is nearly always trouble. And so, we are going to put our study of the Beatitudes on hold. In its stead, we’re going to spend a few weeks talking about relationships. This will be an open discussion. It won’t necessarily be a Bible study, in as it will be a topical study. Therefore, we’re going to bring in different ideas from philosophy, from literature, from our culture and even from experience, as well as the Bible. In truth, this is an exercise in practical theology.

Disclaimer: This study focuses on all of our relationships, and we will begin by discussing relationships as a generality. When I say relationships, I mean our bonds with any persons regardless of gender or attraction. When I say love, I mean love as is issued in the Divine Imperative.

Plato is one of the founding fathers of philosophy. In his work, the Symposium, Plato puts forth his definition of love, somewhat based on the ideas of his tutor, Socrates. The piece is written as Socrates offering his comments on the playwright Aristophanes’ own views. Aristophanes’ felt that love was the continual striving of the soul for one’s other half. He believed that the gods had split every man in two as an act of judgment. Therefore, each man was forced to seek out his other half, and therefore completion.
Socrates adds that man only seeks such completion, if it is truly good. Therefore, for Socrates, we seek the good, and not simply completion. Love is the pursuit of the goodness inside of something. Plato sums up by saying, “Love is desire for perpetual possession of the good.”
This raises some interesting questions: First, is possession a vital aspect of love? Secondly, how does one define the Good?
One must be familiar with Plato’s allegory of the cave and his idea of Forms. Plato felt that all things are merely a shadowy representation of their true essence. The Good in any object is the metaphysical, lofty reality of what is merely represented in its physical form. So to desire the Good is not simply to desire a relationship, or a person, but the highest in its very essence. What this means for us is that as we seek relationships, we must decide what the Good truly is.
Last week, we talked about Kierkegaard’s understanding of purity of heart: “Purity of heart is to will one thing: the Good.” For Kierkegaard, that one thing, that Good was God. He felt that truly loving someone meant encouraging them, driving into the presence of God in a deep intimacy. What is the purpose of our relationships? What is the purpose of our love? Is it to acquire completion? Or is it the pursuit of the Good, namely God? Are our relationships based solely on our desire to have a craving for affection met? Or is our craving for the Author of life and purpose?
Jesus said, “First search for the Kingdom and the righteousness of [God], and everything else will be provided for you.”
In the Symposium, Socrates goes on to say that the pursuit of beauty and goodness necessarily desires the procreation of beauty: to seek the Good means that we desire that Good to continue into the future. The example that Socrates gives is the desire to have children. People desire to reproduce so that they may have an impact on the future, in Socrates’ mind. True love always desires to produce true love. The Good demands that it perpetuate itself. This brings us back to our question about receiving. Is love about the reception, or the continuation of itself?
In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis says, “Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.” Or hear to the words of the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke, “This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess.” The reward for our giving love in relationship is the giving of it, and our growth in its understanding and its practicality.
Our understanding of love and relationships must be centered on the Good. Christ must be our reason for loving and the reward. He must be the source and focal point of our relationships. He must be both the motivation and the goal.
Next week, we’re going to discuss humanity’s designed purpose for having relationships. We’re going to talk about the idea of relational theology, and ask the question of the importance and necessity of living in community with our brothers, our sisters and those who live outside of our own bubble.