Christian community, conflict and the role of a "pastor"

Working in ministry isn't fun sometimes. It's potentially even less fun when we as people who are "professionals" have to deal with the conflicts between our "clientele." If one wanted to heighten the degree of difficulty in our developing hypothetical, one could place the "clientele" into a delicate demographic, say for instance: emerging, self-discovering, pomo college students. And then what's a "pastor" supposed to do?

The difficulty for that pastor might be complicated in times of crisis for several reasons. First, the difficulties of dealing with such a demographic are difficult enough. For one, the entire parochial system of pastor-lay relationships has to be re-evaluated as is. College students, and particularly those of a post-modern mindset, are offended by this dichotomy of "professional Christians" and everybody else. This is partially because many students who desire to remain faithful to their religious beliefs by a college age were raised in a congregation that really hammered the importance of faith into them. This generally aligns them on a more conservative scale. However, when they start to see the world, they must deal with the oh-so-stereotyped "liberal academia" of the university life. The conflict comes when they realize that they don't disagree with everything the "liberals" say, but what does this mean for their "conservative" faith? Students begin to feel betrayed by their pastors, as if their pastors were either liars or ignorant men (and yes, they are almost all men).

Perhaps most of these difficulties are related to the existential epistemology that most college students seem to live by: reality is defined by how it feels. Thankfully, most of these pomos have realized that good feelings are probably not the truest expressions of reality, as people sometimes just don't feel good. Instead, it is feeling at all, authentic emotion that determines reality. The more authentic a thing is, the more real it is in a cosmic sense.

A second and resultant problem is the problem of the church's current state of being. Unfortunately, institutions, "professional" pastors and the church just don't seem authentic anymore. Students don't trust these things because they don't "feel" right. The questions of how we who hope to genuinely connect with these students, or worse, maintain our own sense of identity while still maintaining faithfulness to the Church that Christ (inadvertently or not) established are questions that seem unanswerable. Systems of expectation from the church and disappointment from students who tend to be anti-institutional cause identity-crisis, confusion and a feeling of picking sides between the people who are meant to be served and loved by a pastor and the church that seems so often a corruption of what it ought to be. It seems to me, anyway, that these students have some good points about our churches.

And so what role would a pastor who stands in this great chasm play? For the students, she must be relevant and most importantly real. For the students' sake, she must not simply be a "professional." She must know them well, and love them well. At the same time, she must still be a guide. There may be times when the role of authority must be re-enforced for the safety of the community. This pastor must love authentically. Most importantly, this pastor must be human. The pastor must be free to make mistakes. Unfortunately, it often feels as if they are not allowed to do so. The role of pastor from both the church and the pomo student is one of the highest standard, which I think to an extent is good. However, it seems that the church often wants the pastor to be "good" so that the church will look better. The student wants anyone claiming the title of "pastor" to speak truthfully, unlike pastors they have heard before who disappointed them. Both sides seem to have unfair expectations of the person who hopes to serve both.

What doesn't seem like an entirely viable option from my perspective is a system of "boundaries" that simply dictate what a pastor should and should not do to avoid any difficulties or complications. I agree that we need to live in ways tht will maintain the safety of all involved, that is our call as Christians; to love one another. However, it's just over-simplifying things to boil it down to rules of conduct. If a pastor is to truly be a part of the Christian community, we need freedom, mutual love and respect, and most importantly communication. Conflict will necessarily be a part of this whole process because relationships always have conflict. Tension is what allows us to grow. But what we lack is the ability to communicate. We all seem far to concerned with our own emotions and interests to share our thoughts and feelings without taking offense at those who disagree. If we hope to reconcile the church and the post-modern generations, both parties must first learn to have a Christian conversation, dealing with our conflict and clinging for dear life to the things that define us as Christ-followers: compassion, grace, patience, selflessness, honesty and a devotion to each other, to the Church and to Jesus Christ.