It has its place.

I read an article today about mega- versus missional churches. The basic agenda of the article was to defend the megachurch mentality without discrediting missional churches. It seemed a little targeted at missionals in a friendly way from the megachurches just to say, "We're not worthless, and neither are you." A sentiment I can resonate with, no doubt. I suppose what makes me sad is the over-arching assumption that a church's set of strategies for filling its building with people is what makes it a church. Having been away from school for over a year, and working full-time in a church, I've found myself with a great deal of questions, as I'm sure that you-who-read-this-blog have discovered. My attitude toward the institutional church has become increasingly cynical, and I've even spent a good deal of time wondering whether I wanted to be some sort of pastor or simply sell shoes for a living. These have been dark times (I apologize to any whose life's ambition is to sell shoes). But the truth is, the thought of ministry seems to be the one thing I can't not do. I'm fascinated and disgusted by it. I'm drawn to it without thinking, though pausing long enough to think causes me to hesitate. As jacked up as the church is oftentimes, I can't leave it behind. I see too much potential.

So, I think both kinds of churches have their place. I wish we could stop competing, stop bickering about whose right, stop comparing our tactics (I throw up a little every time I hear such words), stop striving to be successful and just be churches again. I wish a pastor's primary duty was to teach the way of Jesus and inspire people to live like that. I wish my job wasn't marketing and branding, accounting, and ultimate problem-fixer. I don't want to be the Christian that a congregation lives vicariously through. I don't want to be so "in charge" that it can't be my church, too. I know the pastor serves a unique role. I know it is not an easy calling, and that every job comes with parts that suck a little. But after a year and a half, it feels like my job pushes me in directions entirely contrary to my call.

I'm gonna try to start another blog series (something I suck at). This time, I want to spend some time expounding on what I feel like I am called to do, or rather, who I am called to be as a person in ministry. I see (so far) five roles that I desire to live into as a "pastor."

1. Enviromentalist
2. Conversationalist
3. Dreamer and Story-Teller
4. Philologist
5. Philanthropist

Stay tuned for more explanation of each (hopefully).